Negotiating tips by Chris Voss, an FBI negotiator on sales

Say no with emotions

In the sales negotiations, it exists an emotionally intelligent way to say no. It is a tactical empathy when you say deferentially and apologetically “I’m sorry this just won’t work for us”. We are indicating a desire to continue to collaborate without slamming any doors. We are not trying to take a low road too. That puts you in the position of the second mover on this emotional level, where you want to continue to make the best deal, not the compromise that leaves you with remorse or no money.

Gain an upper hand

Give the other side the illusion of control. That they get what they want. The secret to negotiation is to know how to exhaust the other side into submission. If you say or write that “I’m sorry I think we can’t do this” you will narrow down your rejection to the points and not to the person and it is not going to be taken personally.

You have to say no several times

They will feel like they have everything they can when they’ve heard “no” several times.  How did we suppose to do this?  If they feel they’ve got you at your limit, they feel they’ve done a good job and will make a deal.

Use tactical approach

Articulate all the things that are at the back of their heads as to why I should make a deal and be very positive: you leave them with nowhere to go. Praise them on the things that they want to use in order to convince you to collaborate with them and then say: “I’m sorry,  this is just not going to work with me. You are generous, it does not work for me”. How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to maintain our ability to move forward? The key is to imply “no” so they do not feel they lost.

Don’t have a discounted mindset during the negotiations

If you get them to discount the price you know they have a discounted mindset. Make sure you do not go there, a long term relationship worth much more than the discounted price.

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