We all know that self confidence is the most important thing to succeed in personal and professional life. But why is it so important? Because as Dr. Ivan Joseph put it: “When you lose belief in yourself, you’re done.” His definition of self-confidence is the ability or the belief to believe in yourself to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, no matter the adversity.
How to get self confidence?
Self-confidence is a skill and it can be trained. The easiest way to build self confidence is … repetition, repetition, repetition. Sounds tough. I know. Let me put it this way, we need to be persistent in doing things we love, enjoy or like. Instead of doing them from time to time set up a simple plan, strategy or habit to do it regularly. Even when it is small but systematic, nothing can beat that.
We expect to be self-confident
We can’t self confident unless the skill or the task we are doing is not novel or new to us. We want to be in the situation of pressure and able to say: “I’ve done this a thousand times.” You want to be an expert, stick to the simple effective system, it can be TAYGo or any system that keeps you on track with your systematic learning or practice.
Ability to practice
Preparation and practice give confidence when speaking to a large number of people. The problem with repetition is that many of us bail after the first bit of failure or adversity. Do not accept failure, learn from it.
We have the negative self-talk, like, “Please do not ask me”, ” Just not me” or ” I can’t do it”. Dr. Ivan Joseph nicely noticed that there are enough people that are telling us we can’t do it so why we want to tell ourselves that?
We know for a fact that thoughts influence our actions. We need to get our own self-affirmations. If I will not believe it no one else will. So get away from the people who will tear you down.
There will be moments in your life that you are feeling not good about who, what and when you are. Then read that letter of your accomplishments and stop the negative self-talk
Build confidence in others
Find what people do good, catch them in that moment, praise that positive behavior and reinforce it. A study in Kansas showed that when the team analysed video what happened wrong their progress was incomparably smaller to that when they were just showed times they did very well.
No one will believe in you unless you do.