Take Control Of Any Situation
Very few people can control a conversation and redirect the flow of conversation. Charlie Houpert suggests that you can use the below three approaches in order to control the situation even when there isn’t a conflict. So, how to masterfully control a confrontation, how you can use jokes to complete your conversations in your own life? Before we get into details, please note that it is hugely important to have the ability to stay calm under pressure in any situations.
Choose more uncommon words
So the first type of joke is best used to defuse tense situations before they get out of hand. It also generally makes any situation funnier so it’s the most widely applicable and it’s unpointed to anyone.
There are tons of ways to be witty but the easiest is with your word choice. Simply choose more uncommon words: extra-terrestrial instead of alien, neurotic instead of crazy, and the end result is that people smirk, and it breaks the tension that might be mounting. It’s also a generally good idea for being funnier in any situation.
In contrary Winston Churchill’s way to destroy someone was aiming at a specific person. In his case when Nancy Astor told him ‘If I were your wife, I would poison your coffee’, he replied and ‘If I were your husband, I would drink it.’ That is very witty but pointed. Jokes like that escalate tension, they don’t diffuse it so instead reply with the type of wit that gets a chuckle. Make sure it is not at someone’s expense so that they actually cool off.
The second type of joke is best used when you are forced to discuss a topic that you would rather not. Maybe someone is bringing up insecurity. In those cases, you want to redirect things without calling the other person out directly and that’s where purposeful misinterpretation comes in huge.
You can also shift the focus of what is most obvious in any situation to something that is far less obvious. You can shift the focus from something obviously upsetting directed towards you to something minor taking back control and the conversation.
In any situation even when someone is being insulting, you have control over what aspect of their speech you respond to. You can actually control the frame and if you choose not to focus on the obvious remark and instead purposely misinterpret their intent. For example, focusing on a minor detail or reading it as a compliment. This way you will upset expectations which then gets a laugh and allows you to retake control.
If you find yourself in a situation where someone is being sarcastic or trying to put you down by saying something like ‘nice job’ or ‘you really killed that one’, you can make the group laugh and take back control of the conversation by simply taking the comment at face value. So you might reply: ‘Thanks I appreciate you noticing’. This shows that even if you’ve made a mistake you are still unfazed by it and in control of the situation.
If things get a bit dicier you have another option and this is sarcasm. Sarcasm in this context is when the literal words that you are saying don’t match the implied meaning and it’s a way of saying something nice on the surface with less than kind undertones. It’s not as harsh as a direct insult but it’s still likely to make an impact on the other person.
I’ve warned against sarcasm in the past because it’s generally easy to upset people even when you might not need to. Avoiding sarcasm with people you don’t know well generally holds in some cultures. However, it does have its place in dealing with rude people. So if you use it you might want to just consider softening it with a smile.
This type of joke is usually much more effective for winning in the audience over than it is for making the person you’re talking to, to actually like you. Use it sparingly and ideally with a cheeky grin. For instance, if someone is being rude to you, you could say: ‘Wow so glad that we’re getting the opportunity to hang out’ That usually will make them stop in their tracks.
Control the conversation
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